Elderly Ego

Son - Everything in the whole world.

Daughter - A responsibility when living together and becomes valuable after making her married.

Son-in-law - Respectful, Equivalent to son.

Daughter-in-law - Never valued in a positive way. Always comparable with others.

 

• What makes the parents-in-law (PIL) to set their mind in a negative way before even a daughter-in-law (DIL) steps in to their house?
• Why do they hesitate to speak good about DIL in front of her when she has done something good to them?
• Why the grand children delivered by the DIL becomes the PIL's favourite and own, but not the DIL?
• Why do they think that only PIL is adjusting with the DIL in all aspects?
• Why PIL always points the negative things out of many positive things in DIL?
• Why can't a PIL adjust with one negative/weakness of the DIL?
• Why do they expect the DIL to always be smiling even when she is emotionally upset?
• Why do they keep yelling at DIL without even listening to what she wants to convey?
• Why do they always want the DIL's voice to be low even in a heated argument?
• Fights and misunderstandings are quite common at the start of the marriage, but it continues even after many years of marriage why?

 

Those are the questions which arises in the mind of a DIL who tries to be as a daughter in the in-law family.

It arises for a DIL who delivers her best to become one among them.

It arises for a DIL who spends her entire life, time, health and earnings for the well-being of her PIL.

It arises for a DIL who tries to fulfil all the wishes of her PIL. (Without expressing themselves.)

It arises for a DIL who is of a different caste and keeps listening to the taunting words of relatives for PIL sake.

It arises for a DIL who handles the responsibilities of her PIL's son.

It arises for a DIL who loves her PIL but cannot control her anger.

It arises for a DIL who has stopped thinking about her self-respect and self-esteem after her marriage.

Finally It arises for a DIL who tries to find her parents in her PIL.

 

The only answer for those questions is ego. The ego of being an elderly person.

The ego that they have dumped in their heart, or the one that is continued from generation to generation.
The ego that has nailed the strong statement in the PIL mind that “A daughter-in-law is an outsider, not of our blood"

But I ask you how true is this.

• Aren’t the parents-in-law (Husband and wife) are of different blood, then how do they have good understanding?
• Aren’t the siblings of the same blood, then why do they have misunderstandings?

 I have heard a quote that a parent becomes a PIL to hand over the responsibilities to a new person (either to a son-in-law or a daughter-in-law).

In reality, a parent becomes a PIL by changing their mind set, by always thinking in a negative way about the hand over responsibility.

I being the parent of a son, it is really scary to foresee us carrying the same generation to generation ego.

Will the fight continues in the entire life, as a DIL and then as PIL.

No never, come out of the ego of being an elderly person, A person becomes elder not only by age, but by good deeds, experience, and good thoughts.

Never let the ego to bottle up in you. Always be a wise and good-deed person and not an egoistic one.